Sekarang dah pukul 1.55 am. Mungkin aku dah patut tutup mata, rest kan diri dari terjaga sekarang. But I just can't. Nak kata sedih sangat tak jugak, tapi nak kata happy pun tak jugak. In the middle. Susahlah nak describe apa aku rasa. Bila dapat tahu Nurul dah dapat offer to be part of Tenaga Pengajar Muda (TPM), seriously I'm happy for her. I'm proud, sebab I know she deserves that. But then, bila dia kata dalam offer letter minta dia study SELAIN DARI UiTM, I was like, nak happy tak, nak sedih pun tak. Tapi rasanya kalau ikut percentage 30% is happy, and the others tu sedih kot. :(
She's the only friend yang ada sekarang, the one that I think I can share my story, my problem nak buat thesis ni, nak ajak buat tu, pergi sana sini, but why she is the one yang kena pergi?? Ya Allah, mungkinkah ada hikmah untuk apa KAU rancangkan ini? Sumpah aku sedih and I know dia pun sedih sebab kita dua dah sama2 janji nak take care each other, bagi semangat, nak sama advisor lah. Sekarang dia pun dalam dilema. I just praying that dia dapat buat keputusan yang terbaik. Ada sebab pihak atasan minta semua candidates sambung selain UiTM, to be a research university is not that easy. We need more researcher, so ni salah satu cara nak meramaikan lagi2 dari kalangan student sendiri dan bila dorang dah abis, dorang boleh share their knowledge their experiences to others.
Mata aku dah pedih2 ni. Tak ada mood langsung nak baca jurnal. Sebab tak masuk pun. Nurul, just want you to know that, kita sayang Nurul tau. Sayang sangat. Even Nurul nanti ditakdirkan pergi Universiti lain, kita harap sangat kita selalu dapat contact each other, share about your Mr.A to me, share what you get with new lecturer, new friends, new environment, new thinkers, new Prof, new Doctorate, and even small2 things that happen to you. Kita akan redha kalau2 friendship kita dua tak selama mana yang kita dua expect. Graduate sama2 kan? Kita doakan Nurul, and I want you to do the same. Doakan kita kuat kat sini. :(
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